I Count Five

flags

I went on a vacation with the family this summer and sat on a plane for the first time in 14 years. It was a pretty amazing holiday and we visited four countries in just over a month.

To mark the countries that my sister visits, she purchases a flag from each one. I derived the idea from there and in remembrance of my holiday, decided to paint the flags of the countries that I visited.

I count five because I also painted the flag of the country I live in, which lies in the middle.

I am chained.

You have pushed me into a chasm of despair. It grows deeper as I recall your bitter words and it grows wider when you remain silent. The swirling black fog of despondency refuses to lift. I can move but that chasm seems to move with me – a permanent distance between us. I will have to leap to escape it and you will have to dive. A slight resemblance, a familiar voice, hurls me deeper into the conflict that you do not feel. The chains that you have thrown around my emotions are only bound to you and my fight against them only weakens my resolve. Let them loose so that I can tread, just slightly. Let them loose or bind them forever with your heart.

Not a poem

(I found this last night. I wrote this back in 2009.)

 

Black and grey

That’s all I see

Colourless and lifeless

Gloomy and depressing

Dark and haunting

Lonely and scared

Deserted and abandoned

Dead and corpse-like

Figures start to form in my eyes

Shuffling their feet

Each laboured breath

Each empty grasp

Each step harder

Trip over my feet

As I run to escape this horrible image

Following me

Faster

As I speed up