Letter to myself
You are walking down the street. You’re frustrated and annoyed because you cannot believe that you let that opportunity slip out of your hands. You were too nervous. But you were planning this murder for a very long time. And now you blew it. You just had to walk up to the door, knock, and once the door was open, all you had to do was pull the trigger. No witnesses because there are no houses around the cabin he lives in. No sound would have been heard because of the silencer you had on the gun. This could have been a clean murder. He was alone at home. You could have gotten away with it. Waiting for the perfect moment, you let it pass. You were pacing around waiting…for what? You don’t know. Fear? Dread? Second thoughts about the deed you were about to perform? You felt strong and powerful as you marched up to the deserted cabin but your courage faltered and failed as it came into view. You were shaking. Twitching at the sound of every branch you heard cracking and every leaf you heard crunching under your feet. You hang your head in shame at how you could not carry out a simple task like this one.
You’re trudging your feet now. You’re disappointed and you feel incompetent. Such an easy task and you were unable to perform it. You kick a stone that comes in your way as you walk down the pavement. You feel hatred for yourself and you give yourself a slap on the head. You feel confusion mounting in your head and you cannot hear yourself thinking. You approach a dark alleyway a little way out of the road. You look into it and see that it’s sufficiently dark. You turn right into the alleyway and walk some distance till you feel that the dark shadows conceal you, even in the broad daylight. A chill runs down your spine and the sky above seems to have gotten darker. You think it would be a while before they would discover a body lying here. A cool drop of rain falls on your head and washes away the turmoil inside your head. Slowly, you reach inside your pocket and take it out. You put it to your head, close your eyes, say a final prayer and pull the trigger.
Rest In Peace,