Self-Loathing

I put thoughts into your head

And see myself as you do

Not the best of who I am

But possibly the worst

I cringe, I protest, I try to reassure

Letting my worst judgment reign over myself

I think you see me like I see myself

I know you see me like I see myself

I wish, I hope, I pray it is not true

I try to feign indifference sadly so

But deep inside my mind I crouch and hide

With only myself in whom to confide

Dismissal

I drilled a hole in my door

So you could take a peak

But you opened ten wide

With the intention to compete

Who hurts more

Is not a race

Your ten do not exist

For my single one to replace

 

Shattered

I lie down at night

On a bed of barbed wire

My mind is shattered glass

I move and I’m pierced

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Another Untitled Poem

I have
All the air
I need to breathe
I have
All my limbs
Free to move
I have
All my mental capabilities
To think how I want
I have
Choice
In things to be chosen
Then
Why do I feel
I am trapped
In a box without walls
Why do I feel
I don’t have air
Free to inhale
Why do I feel
I am on my knees
With a blow
Only I can sense
Why do I feel
Like I’m loud
Screaming
Shouting for recognition
In my silence
Why do I feel
Unwanted
Insignificant
A blemish
Permanent
Stubborn
Dark
Tainted
Only me
But
Unseen
So forgotten

Note: Symmetry helps me breathe.

You Are Free

Free to soar
Unshackled to sprint
Dive to swim across the sea
Breathe in the air
Twist your toes on the ground
And cut through the free touch of the waves

Put on your wings
Do not heed what they say
Know that you do not have to listen
They are abstract ideas
That do not belong to you
Go and find your way in this world

Find your voice
Know you have the strength
You can ask for what you want
Fight for what you need
Raise your voice above the crowd
You are the only one who can fight for yourself

Do not be weighed down
Do not let them bind you
Do not slow down
Do not let them catch you
Fly, run, soar so that you are forever your own
And no one can ever throw a cage over you again

Rotten Inside

I claw at my face
With my jagged nails
Trying to rip out
What you left
Inside of me

Blood and tears
Intermixed
I cannot tell
The difference anymore
All I want is for the demon to leave

It writhes
It bites
It creates
A deep hollow
That I cannot remove

Every twitch
Every scream
Wants to let out
What plays havoc inside
Never wanting to leave

Every second
Every minute
The desire
To turn myself inside out
Gets stronger and stronger

Until all I can think of
Is to rip my insides out
To rid myself
Of that plague you gifted to me
That has only left a hollow rotting carcass inside